I Just Want to Get this Divorce Done!
The book “I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money, and Minds” explains the strategic side of divorce, including how the system works, how to think about settlement, and how to avoid losing your sanity. It was created to be a readable, story-driven guide that demystifies divorce and highlights better ways to resolve it, especially through Collaborative Divorce.
A Book Born Out of Frustration and Necessity
After more than two decades practicing divorce law, I realized something striking: there was no book that explained divorce from a strategic perspective. Most resources covered the basics, child support, alimony, custody. These are topics anyone can Google. What was missing was a guide to help people understand how to think about settlement, why the system behaves the way it does, and what options exist for resolving a case effectively.
I kept wishing I could hand clients a single chapter that outlined the core concepts, so they arrived informed and ready for meaningful conversations.
Sharing the “Common Sense About Divorce” People Don’t Know
After years of repeating the same explanations to clients, I began to see how unfamiliar these concepts were to most people entering the divorce process. Ideas that had become second nature to me, evaluating settlement, understanding risks, managing costs, were completely new to them.
Using real client stories (fictionalized for privacy), readers walk through each concept in a way that is understandable and engaging. Every chapter includes a story, an explanation, learning points, and “the rest of the story,” creating a format that keeps the book readable, relatable, and practical.
A Love Letter to the Collaborative Divorce Process
One thread runs throughout the book: most families do better outside a courtroom. I compare litigation with collaborative methods, explaining where litigation can spiral out of control, especially when “swamp creatures” (the destructive, conflict-stirring attorneys) get involved.
Collaborative Divorce, by contrast, shines. The book highlights how divorce coaches, financial neutrals, and structured problem-solving leads to healthier, faster, and more humane outcomes.
In that sense, the book truly is a love letter to collaborative practice and a roadmap for why it works.
The Flawed System People Need to Understand
The traditional court system is built for win-lose outcomes. It’s binary, rushed, and ill-suited for the emotional, nuanced realities of divorce. Families need shades of gray, but the system forces them into black-and-white boxes. Limited court time and limited evidence mean families often receive cookie-cutter solutions.
Where to Find the Book
I Just Want This Done is available on Amazon, Audible, Kindle, Nook, and anywhere eBooks are sold. Hardcover copies can also be purchased through Barnes & Noble.
FAQs
1. Is the book only for people already in divorce?
No. It is useful for anyone considering divorce, supporting someone through one, or wanting to understand the system.
2. Are the client stories real?
They are based on real cases, but names and details are changed to protect privacy.
3. Does the book replace having a lawyer?
No, but it prepares you to work more effectively with your attorney.
4. Is the book anti-litigation?
Not at all. It explains when litigation is necessary, but also when it is not.
5. Will the book help me choose the right divorce method?
Yes. It clearly outlines the pros and cons of each resolution path so you can make informed decisions.
Raiford Dalton Palmer, AAML – named a Super Lawyer and top-rated lawyer in Divorce and Family Law for several years, Raif concentrates his practice in high net worth and complex asset divorce matters, especially those involving business and real estate interests. He handles collaborative divorce cases as well as litigated matters and mediation. Raif has extensive legal experience in commercial litigation, business transactions, and personal injury litigation, which gives him a broader understanding of these issues in divorce matters.
His bestselling divorce book, “I Just Want This Done, How Smart, Successful People get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money, and Minds”, is available on Amazon.
