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You and your spouse have more flexibility to create divorce terms that fit your family. You have more freedom to create parenting schedules and financial agreements that reflect your family’s needs. Collaborative Divorce allows you to consider your immediate needs and long-term plans. Emotions are recognized while the divorce professionals guide you toward thoughtful decisions.…
Continue Reading Why Collaborative Divorce Can Give You More Customized Solutions
In a Collaborative Divorce You and your spouse each have your own attorneys in a Collaborative Divorce, who provide legal advice and advocate for your individual interests. You may also have a financial neutral and a mental health neutral(s) and child specialists as part of your divorce team. The Team is specially determined based on…
Continue Reading What’s the Difference Between Mediation and Collaborative Divorce?
A divorce coach helps you through the emotional challenges that can make divorce decisions more difficult. Learn to express your concerns clearly and listen more effectively, reducing conflict and misunderstandings. Recognizes when emotions are escalating and helps refocus discussions on solutions. By reducing emotional reactions, you can make thoughtful choices that support your future goals.…
Continue Reading How a Divorce Coach Helps Manage Emotions During Collaborative Divorce
Technology gives you and your co-parent practical ways to co-parent during and after divorce with more accountability and less conflict. Tools like parenting apps and real-time sobriety monitoring track communication, document behavior, and provide clear data about substance use. This allows you to expand parenting time safely, reduce disputes, and create structured agreements that adjust…
Continue Reading Technology and Trust in Co-Parenting Relationships During and After Divorce
The less you share on social media during your divorce, the better. Keeping your personal life private will protect your children, prevent unnecessary conflict, and help your divorce to move forward without avoidable distractions. Social Media and Divorce: Think Before You Post When your divorce begins, it can feel natural to use social media to…
Continue Reading Should You Use Social Media During Your Divorce?
When you create a parenting plan through Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse work together to build a plan that fits your children’s unique needs instead of leaving those decisions to a judge. This gives your family more flexibility, encourages healthier communication, and makes it easier to adjust the plan as your children grow. You…
Continue Reading Why Collaborative Divorce Creates Better Parenting Plans
You and your spouse will have the opportunity to identify, discuss, and work through the fears that may be preventing productive conversations during your divorce. The Collaborative Divorce process creates a supportive environment where concerns can be heard, understood, and addressed with the help of trained professionals. Fear Is One of the Biggest Obstacles in…
If you are going through a gray divorce (also known as a silver or 50+ divorce) in Illinois, your retirement accounts may be among the largest assets you and your spouse need to divide. Collaborative Divorce provides a thoughtful plan for dividing retirement benefits, pensions, and investment accounts so you can both maintain financial stability…
Continue Reading Gray Divorce: How to Divide Retirement Accounts in Illinois
Collaborative Divorce is an excellent choice for couples over 50 for how to go through the divorce process. The Collaborative Divorce process provides a private, team-based approach that helps couples protect their family wealth, preserve important relationships, and create customized solutions that support their retirement, estate planning, and future goals without the stress and conflict of…
Continue Reading Why is Collaborative Divorce a Good Fit for Gray Divorce?
Collaborative Divorce saves money by reducing court fights, organizing financial information efficiently, and using a neutral financial professional to help both spouses understand the numbers. When you fully understand your finances and work with a team, you are more likely to reach a fair and lasting settlement without the high cost of litigation. Collaborative Divorce…
Continue Reading Why Collaborative Divorce Is a Financially Good Choice
Many of the emotional conflicts in divorce are rooted in money. Our lifelong relationship with money shapes fear, resentment, and anxiety during the divorce process, especially when the family finances were unevenly understood during marriage. Divorce can amplify existing issues, making education, transparency, and collaborative financial planning an important part of reducing conflict and helping…
Continue Reading How Emotional Issues in Divorce Impact Your Finances
You have more than one option when it comes to divorce, and the divorce path you choose will directly impact your finances, your time, and any future relationship with your ex-spouse. Courts are limited and decisions are in the judge’s hands, while Collaborative Divorce allows you to create a customized solution with more control and…
Continue Reading Why Your Divorce Process Matters More Than You Think
From Ending to Rebuilding: A Family’s Turning Point Divorce is often described as a turning point for families. It signals the close of one chapter of life and, just as importantly, the beginning of another. This shift unfolds in a liminal space, a disorienting, in-between phase where the familiar structure of family life has been…
Continue Reading Why a Child Specialist is the Key to Your Family Reconstruction
Issues of alcohol abuse in a divorce or custody case can force an all-or-nothing decision between restricting parenting time or risking unverified sobriety. Soberlink is a balanced alternative that promotes safety, accountability, and continued parent and child relationships. What to Know About Soberlink? Soberlink is a high-tech, remote breathalyzer system widely used in family law.…
The book “I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money, and Minds” explains the strategic side of divorce, including how the system works, how to think about settlement, and how to avoid losing your sanity. It was created to be a readable, story-driven guide that demystifies divorce…
Before starting a divorce, you should set yourself up for a smoother, less stressful transition by getting clear understanding of your family finances, researching process options like Collaborative Divorce or Mediation, consult with professionals early, and strengthen your emotional support system. The more informed and prepared you are practically and mentally the more control you…
“Divorce season” refers to the period, usually between January and March, when many couples decide to end their marriage. After enduring the stress of the holidays, many people come to terms with their unhappiness and begin to seek out their options for divorce like Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. It’s a time for reflection, planning, and…
Continue Reading What Is Divorce Season That is Coming…Wait What?
Collaborative Divorce shifts the process from courtroom conflict to proactive problem-solving. When you focus on clarity, emotional awareness, financial empowerment, child-centered communication and using practical tools to prepare for the conversation, you can replace chaos with cooperation and move forward with confidence and stability. Changing the divorce conversation means moving away from a reactive, conflict-driven…
When two people marry, they join their lives — emotionally and financially. Along with shared hopes and dreams come shared assets, debts, and long-term plans. Most people are familiar with prenuptial agreements signed before marriage, but fewer realize that it’s possible to create a similar agreement after the wedding. These are called mid-marital or postnuptial agreements. What Is a Mid-Marital…
In Illinois, “custody” is defined in terms of decision-making responsibilities and parenting time, emphasizing cooperation over competition. While litigation can be stressful and expensive, the Collaborative Divorce process offers a more positive, child-focused approach that helps parents create workable, cooperative parenting plans together. When parents separate, one of the most important questions to resolve is…
Continue Reading How Is Child Custody Determined in Illinois?
Even though your marriage is ending, the relationship when you have children continues for a lifetime. Preserving that relationship through Collaborative Divorce not only benefits your co-parenting dynamic but also safeguards your children’s emotional and physical well-being. The End of a Marriage Isn’t the End of Your Relationship In a divorce, the focus is primarily…
Continue Reading You’re Getting a Divorce – Why Worry About Preserving the Relationship?
Divorce is often the result of communication breakdowns between a couple. But keeping dialogue open, treating discussions like business meetings while also listening carefully to the other person, pausing when emotions rise, and using professional support can ease conflict during the divorce process. These tips can also reduce costs and lay the groundwork for healthier…
Continue Reading A Guide for How to Communicate During Divorce
A calm and civil divorce reduces stress, costs, and conflict while protecting your children and preserving future relationships. By choosing Collaborative Divorce professionals for your divorce, building a supportive network, managing emotions, and keeping your kids out of disputes, you can move forward with dignity and a healthier foundation for the next chapter of your…
Some things in life are objective, tangible, external – a house, tax returns, school schedule, 401(k) balance. Other things are subjective, intangible, internal – feelings, thoughts, beliefs, values. The visible exterior and the invisible interior. The traditional legal system only deals with the visible – bank accounts and tax returns. If a couple has children,…
Continue Reading The Energetic Reality of the Collaborative Process
Traditional divorce litigation makes sensitive financial and personal details part of the public record, while Collaborative Divorce keeps discussions private, limits what appears in court filings, and protects your dignity. Choosing a collaborative process helps you resolve disputes respectfully while safeguarding your privacy. One of the biggest concerns people have in a divorce is privacy.…
Continue Reading The Best Way to Keep Your Divorce Matters Private
Divorce is one of the toughest experiences in life, but for couples over 50, often referred to as experiencing a “gray divorce”, the stakes and circumstances can look very different. Increasingly, many of these couples are turning to Collaborative Divorce as a preferred alternative to the traditional court battle. Here is why it may be…
Continue Reading Divorce and Older Couples: Collaborative Divorce is a Better Way
As a therapist who’s worked with couples for 17 years, I’ve seen a noticeable rise in what people call “gray divorces”—generally couples over 50 splitting up, often after the kids have left home. It’s something I’m frequently asked about, and I think there are some clear reasons behind it. When the Kids Leave, What’s Left?…
Continue Reading Why Are More Older Couples Getting Divorced Now?
When you and your spouse decide to divorce, the process can feel both emotionally overwhelming and financially complicated. The key financial issues in any divorce process are child support, spousal maintenance, division of assets, and division of your debts. These financial matters can range from relatively straightforward to highly intricate, depending on factors such as…
Continue Reading Common Financial Issues in an Illinois Divorce–a Collaborative Approach
When you and your future spouse decide to get married, a prenuptial agreement may not be a discussion that you want to have. Prenuptial agreements can be a delicate subject because it involves finances, assets, and future expectations. One way of the best ways to have these conversations and maintain harmony is by using the…
Continue Reading A Better Way to Set Up a Prenuptial Agreement
Divorce will reshape the dynamics of your family in enumerable ways. One of the most challenging aspects of this transition is adapting to the changes in schedules and lifestyle, especially during holidays and significant family events. While the divorce process is emotionally taxing, it also offers opportunities for growth, collaboration, and to prioritize what truly…
Continue Reading Divorce: How to Adapt to New Schedules and Lifestyles
Divorce is often seen as a process that primarily affects young children, with courts and families focusing on issues like custody and parenting schedules. However, adult children are also deeply impacted by their parents’ divorce, even if they are legally independent. The experience can be emotionally challenging and sometimes disruptive, and adult children may also…
Continue Reading How Adult Children Are Impacted by and Can Impact Their Parents’ Divorce
A common misconception about divorce is that your life stays the same, and your ex-spouse just won’t be in the picture anymore. While this may be the case in a minority of fact patterns where there are no children or financial interdependence, this is not true in most divorce cases. In fact, many people…
Whether you are at the stage of telling your spouse that you want a divorce, or you are actively working through the divorce process, how you communicate with each other will influence the overall experience and outcome. Here are some tips on how to communicate during your divorce with clarity, empathy, and respect to better…
Continue Reading Divorce: Tips for Communicating with Your Spouse
In a divorce it is often assumed that assets will be divided 50/50. The reality is far more intricate than splitting everything down the middle. One of the advantages to a Collaborative Divorce is that you have a financial professional to make the journey smoother, more transparent, and financially sound for both you and your spouse.…
Continue Reading Collaborative Divorce: 3 Reasons to have a Neutral Financial Professional
When a couple decides to divorce, they will go through a process of uncoupling. Long before Katherine Woodward Thomas put “conscious” in front of the word, divorce lawyers and therapists had been facilitating that process for years. Litigation, the default legal process, provides a structure to take apart many components of married life, from financial…
Divorce is a minefield of issues filled with emotional strain and difficult conversations. Effective communication with your spouse during your divorce is the key to a smooth divorce process and can help you to avoid a drawn-out, contentious and expensive divorce. Let’s examine some practical rules of thumb to help navigate these conversations more effectively:…
Continue Reading 6 Rules for Talking with Your Spouse During Your Divorce
Divorce is filled with emotional turmoil and difficult decisions. You have options for the process that you might use for your divorce including Collaborative Divorce. You might wonder if Collaborative Divorce is right for you. This approach to divorce focuses on cooperation, respect, and problem-solving, especially if you have children. Let’s dive into considerations to help…
Continue Reading Is Collaborative Divorce the Right Choice for Me?
In a divorce, the role of an attorney can vary depending on whether the case is approached through litigation or the collaborative process. While both processes aim to resolve the divorce, they do so in fundamentally different ways. The role of the attorney in a collaborative case is vastly different from the role of the attorney in…
Continue Reading The Role of an Attorney in a Collaborative Divorce
Discussing divorce with your children is a delicate task. It’s crucial to approach this conversation with care, intentionality and planning to ensure the best outcome for your children. Here are some key steps to consider when talking to your kids about your divorce: Plan the Conversation Together If you are able to go through a…
Continue Reading How To Talk To Your Children About Divorce: A Thoughtful Approach
Divorce can be especially tough on children. The traditional divorce process often involves a lot of conflict and stress, which can negatively impact kids. However, there is a better way to handle divorce that can benefit the children: Collaborative Divorce. What is Collaborative Divorce? Collaborative Divorce is a process where you and your spouse work…
Continue Reading Collaborative Divorce: Better For Your Children!
Divorce can often leave you feeling powerless and uncertain about your future. The traditional divorce process, characterized by contentious court battles and imposed court rulings, can exacerbate those feelings. However, Collaborative Divorce offers an opportunity for you and your spouse to take control of the agreements and shape your post-divorce lives in a more constructive…
Continue Reading Divorce: How To Be In Control Of Your Future
Of all the issues in a divorce, one of the most significant decisions you will face is what to do with your marital home. The decision to keep or sell the marital home carries both financial and emotional implications. Understanding what it means to keep the marital home in your divorce can help you and…
My journey in Collaborative Divorce started back in 2009. Before that, I had spent seven years immersed in litigation, witnessing firsthand the destructive impact it often had on families. This experience drove me to seek a better way, and that’s when I discovered Collaborative Divorce. What attracted me most was the needs and interest-based negotiation…
By Theresa Beran Kulat In a divorce it goes without saying that money is often front and center in many of the conversations. In my years as a Collaborative attorney (over 17 years), working with hundreds of people to help them complete their marriage, I’ve seen the benefits firsthand of including a Neutral Financial Professional…
Continue Reading Including a Neutral Financial Professional on the Collaborative Team
By Pamela Rak, LCSW and Ellene Lammers, LCSW and National Social Work Month is in March and this year’s theme is The Time Is Right. The social work profession has existed for more than a century and continues to make significant contributions to our nation. Social workers are known as “helping professionals”. We are woven…
Continue Reading Benefits of Utilizing a Coach During Your Divorce
By Kathryn Hoffman, CDRE and CDI Affiliate Selling a home as part of a divorce is often the most significant asset that needs to be divided and often has the most emotion attached to the process. Often, one of the first fears is about how you can keep the house, or would you be able…
Continue Reading Selling a Home During a Divorce? How a Divorce Realtor Expert Can Help
By Anna Krolikowska, JD As I write this it seems like we are living in a world gone mad. People are raw with anger, hurt, pain and fear. Images of upset fill each newscast and color our days. Fear can be overwhelming and paralyzing, but fear can also be a motivation for change, or a…
By Brad Pawlowski, JD Many families go through “traditional” divorce litigation. It’s familiar, it’s common and it’s what most people know as their only choice when they need to get divorced. What many people don’t know, however, is how many bad things that can happen from litigation. Divorce litigation’s “bad things” all stem from a…
By Marie Sarantakis, Esq. Couples going through a divorce are often dealing with a great deal of stress. They are navigating several life changes all at once and often do not understand the legal options available to them. Many spouses think that once they’ve decided that they are going to separate, there is only one…
By Nanette McCarthy Principal Partner – Griffin McCarthy & Rice LLP If you are considering divorce or have already started in the divorce process, you probably know the COVID-19 pandemic virus has affected the court system. While the courts are doing their best to adjust, many cases previously set for status, hearing, or trial have…
Continue Reading Can I participate in Collaborative Divorce if I am a victim of domestic violence?
By Brenda Bridges, CDFA Sheltering in place can lead to feeling pretty alone and isolated. That sense of being alone and separate can also happen during the divorce process, layering on to what is already an emotional process, and it can be a scary time. Working with a Collaborative Divorce team, our clients get help…
By Tiffany M. Alexander, Esq. Current times are leading many people to believe that they must wait to proceed with a divorce. But just because the Court system is “on hold”, your life and your choices do not have to be. There is more than one way to proceed with a divorce or resolution of…
Continue Reading How is Collaborative Divorce Different Than Litigation and Mediation?
By Ellene Lammers, LCSW Choosing to divorce collaboratively has many advantages. When clients are deciding on which process to choose for their divorce, collaboration can seem daunting due to the costs involved. Collaborative divorce is a team approach to divorce. Each client has his/her own attorney. There is one financial neutral, and depending on the…
Continue Reading The Many Advantages of Choosing to Divorce Collaboratively
By Ellene Lammers, LCSW Collaborative Divorce is a “newer” approach to divorce. It is newer because many people have never heard of it and have no idea about it’s many advantages, although the collaborative process has been an option for divorcing couples in Illinois for quite some time. Collaborative is a team approach to the…
Continue Reading Why Teamwork is So Important in the Collaborative Process
By Patrick Markey, JD The movie, A Marriage Story, was recently released on Netflix and has received a lot of attention from critics and movie fans. Please watch the movie before reading this post if you are concerned about spoilers. The movie follows a married couple with an eight-year-old son going to through a coast…
Continue Reading Marriage Story Movie is an Advertisement for a Collaborative Divorce
By Jennifer Cunningham Beeler, JD Hiding a credit card receipt. Finding another empty bottle of vodka in the back of a cabinet. Deleting that text message. Such small things. Yet those small things pierce the heart, and are sometimes the irreparable crack in the foundation of a marriage. So why would anyone want to sit…
Is the Collaborative Divorce Process Best for You? by Karen Covy When you’re facing divorce, you’ve got a lot on your mind. You’re worried about money, your kids and your home. Your entire life is up for grabs. Plus your emotions are all over the board – you can go from anger to tears to…
Continue Reading Is the Collaborative Divorce Process Best for You?
The CLII Modest Means Program By David Louis The Collaborative Divorce Process offers a unique opportunity for spouses to divorce in a more supported and productive way. In Collaborative Divorce a team of trained and compassionate professionals works together to help divorcing spouses end their marriage in a respectful and dignified way. Doing that not…
Continue Reading The Modest Means Program: Making Collaborative Divorce Services Affordable
By Laura Bare Not everyone has the paparazzi follow them to court for a divorce proceeding appearance like Robert DeNiro did recently. He managed to be filmed yelling at his driver who didn’t meet him behind the courthouse as he requested. The stress of the situation caused him to behave in a way in which…
Continue Reading How to Maintain Your Privacy During a Divorce
By Anna Krolikowska, JD Divorce is rarely easy. When most people think of divorce they imagine protracted fighting between the couple and between the lawyers. While many divorces are hard-fought some are not. There are different divorce options that you can consider. A couple working through a divorce may find that this is one of…
Continue Reading Divorce Options: Three Approaches for Couples
By Ann Cerney, MS, LCPC Ahhh, the sweetness of your child. Never in your wildest dreams did you believe you’d fall so helplessly in love and feel such fierce protectiveness over a dependent little human. But that you did. And, now, as you are facing divorce, this child, or children, is at the very top…
Continue Reading 3 Mental Shifts to Make to Help You Prepare Your Child for Divorce
By Linda G. O’Connell, Ph.D. Divorce is the End of a Chapter: An Amicable Divorce Prepares you for a Successful New Chapter Divorce is a stressful life crisis. As with all crises, it can result in growth and health, or it can result in stagnation and poor physical & mental health. If you have children:…
By Margaret Zuleger, JD Nobody can say divorce is good for your health, but Collaborative Divorce may be the healthiest way to go through a divorce. Scientific research confirms that stress is bad for our health. Stress raises your cortisol levels, and elevated cortisol levels create inflammation which is known to be the cause of…
Continue Reading Healthy Divorce: How Collaborative Divorce May Be The Healthiest Way To Divorce
By Rachel Moore, JD Collaborative divorces can involve experts from various fields in an efficient and unbiased way. The use of experts can give divorcing individuals a sense of security that they are making the right decisions to reach the best possible agreement. Some people worry that their case is too complicated to be handled…
Continue Reading Collaborative Divorces Use Experts in Efficient, Neutral Way
By Miriam Cooper, JD What if there was a way to go through a divorce that was calm, efficient and expedient? Does that sound too good to be true? It’s not. Illinois recently legally recognized a long-practiced type of divorce called Collaborative Divorce. What is Collaborative Divorce? As of January 1, 2018, there is a…
By Rachel Moore, JD Should you choose the Collaborative Divorce Process? As a mom, I always want to do what is best for my daughter. And I know that other parents do too. But as a parent, you don’t always know what “the best” is or where to start to even figure it out. As…
Continue Reading The Collaborative Divorce Process is the Best Option for Parents
By Nancy Bell, CFP, CDFA A man and woman marry to build a home together. But instead, many couples build boxes—and step inside them. Traditional gender roles encourage the building of these boxes, especially financial boxes. The problem with boxes, though, is they can trap women—and sometimes even men—in unhealthy marriages. TC Wealth Partners Advisor…
by Sandra Crawford, JD, Mediator and Collaborative Professional For a legal dispute to be called a “Collaborative Process” each party must commit to retaining a counter-part lawyer who agrees to work under a signed Confidential Collaborative Participation Agreement as a “team” with the clients and collateral professionals required my the issues presented by the dispute.…
Continue Reading Collaborative Process and the Obligations of Lawyers As “Public Citizens”
Is Collaborative Divorce Right for You? A lot of people are talking about collaborative divorce these days. Many people think of collaborative divorce as a “kinder and gentler” way to get a divorce. But, how can you decide if collaborative divorce right for you? Start by asking yourself these questions: 1.Are you looking for a…
The Best Reason to Use Collaborative Divorce in Illinois by Karen Covy People choose to use Collaborative Divorce in Illinois for a lot of reasons. It is more private than going to court. It costs less than going to trial. Collaborative Divorce provides you with more support than traditional litigation. It also preserves your relationship…
Continue Reading The Best Reason to Use Collaborative Divorce in Illinois
Seven Things You Never Knew About Collaborative Divorce in Illinois by Denise Erlich, JD The divorce process can be one of the most stressful events of a family’s life. If you’re considering a Collaborative Divorce, here are seven things to consider when choosing a divorce option: 1. Collaborative Divorce is Effective One of the most…
Continue Reading Seven Things You Never Knew about Collaborative Divorce in Illinois
10 Tips To Make Long-Distance Parenting Work by Paulette Janus, LCSW At times, after parents divorce, one parent may need to relocate to a distance, whether hours away or to a different county, that makes a typical co-parenting schedule difficult or even impossible. Whether this relocation is due to a better employment opportunity, or to…
Continue Reading Tips to Make Long Distance Co-Parenting Work
When Pets Are Part of the Family by Theresa Beran Kulat A new divorce client came into my office to begin the divorce process. A high-income, high net-worth professional, he and his wife had been through counseling, valued their relationship, and decided that they wanted a divorce. They had been “nesting” for over a year,…
What To Expect During Your Divorce by Deanna Conklin Danao, Psy.D All divorces are unique. The personalities, lawyers, assets, and issues involved create a volatile environment that can lead the divorcing parties down many different paths. No matter how the path of your divorce unfolds, there are some things that almost all divorcing spouses can…
New Year, New Alternatives to Consider by Anique Drouin, JD If you are like many people, the beginning of a new year carries with it the sense of a fresh start, a desire for change, and resolutions (oh the resolutions!) about various things…these last until about January 10th…maybe the 11th. For some people, the start…
2016 Updates to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act: What You Need to Know by Ted Hans, CFP, CDFA 1977 was an exciting year. Star Wars was released. Hotel California by the Eagles was a big hit. Horse racing’s Triple Crown winner Seattle Slew captured the public’s adoration. Roots, the novel was widely read.…
Ellene Lammers, LCSW, explains the importance of an apology and the impact that it can have on a relationship. Conflict is part of every marriage. In order for the relationship to succeed, each individual will need to learn constructive ways of dealing with conflict—ideally as it arises. Without this ability, over time, the marriage could…
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